Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) has definitely had her moments over the years — stealing Nate from Jenny; using Chuck for sex; helping Dan raise his fake baby and then (when he dumped her and ran toSerena the moment he was infant-free) refraining from tearing his head from his body. Is it possible that the character has run her course? She’s not with Dan anymore (their relationship was an enormous bore anyway) — and her appearances as of late have been totally annoying.
Vanessa’s had a good run, but maybe it’s time for her to take her put-upon sighs and her tribal necklaces and get lost. Here are a few suggestions on how to show her the door.
Vanessa’s had a good run, but maybe it’s time for her to take her put-upon sighs and her tribal necklaces and get lost. Here are a few suggestions on how to show her the door.
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Sorry, Vanessa. It's not you, it's us... OK, fine, it's you.
1. Falls down a mine shaft: Why mess around with anything subtler? V isn’t exactly subtle herself. Picture it: She’s walking down the street, being judgmental — when whoops! She falls down a deep, dark mine shaft. True, those are in short supply in New York, but we’re sure Blair would be willing to invest in its construction for such a good cause.
2. Gets carried away on the wings of success: Remember that time Vanessa had a summer internship in Haiti? We’re sure she did a great job. They probably want to offer her a prestigious full-time gig. In Haiti. Forever.
3. Fatal print overdose: Frankly, it’s surprising she hasn’t already succumbed to the effects of wearing at least three different eye-gouging fabric prints at any given time. We’re sure the FDA would recommend against that kind of behavior.
4.Global warming: Most New Yorkers have seen those scary Times simulations of which parts of the city would be underwater if the oceans rise. We’re pretty sure that includes most of Brooklyn. Whoops! Off to Jersey, V.
5. Runs off to Vegas to marry Rufus: Oh, you know they want each other.
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2. Gets carried away on the wings of success: Remember that time Vanessa had a summer internship in Haiti? We’re sure she did a great job. They probably want to offer her a prestigious full-time gig. In Haiti. Forever.
3. Fatal print overdose: Frankly, it’s surprising she hasn’t already succumbed to the effects of wearing at least three different eye-gouging fabric prints at any given time. We’re sure the FDA would recommend against that kind of behavior.
4.Global warming: Most New Yorkers have seen those scary Times simulations of which parts of the city would be underwater if the oceans rise. We’re pretty sure that includes most of Brooklyn. Whoops! Off to Jersey, V.
5. Runs off to Vegas to marry Rufus: Oh, you know they want each other.
Want more Gossip Girl goodness? “Like” us on Facebook! You know you love us. XOXO
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